Still picture of a flickering computer screen.
Rest assured that I am committed to making sure that I continue to work hard to illustrate all my writing on Medium with relevant photographs taken by me. This image of a flickering screen was provided free to use by canva.com. Thank you for your patience.

Don’t bank on it.

This is how one online bank tells me that they’re going offline overnight.

“Dear customer, Thank you for your patience while we continue to work hard to improve. We’re committed to making sure we provide you with the best experience possible.”

To do that, they’re shutting down from 10pm “until the morning”.

Don’t get me wrong. I get it. They need to fix something, or upgrade it, or whatever. To do that, they need to shut down. Same principle as if I need to change a light-bulb. I turn off the circuit first.

I’m really not annoyed with this bank but I really want to be annoyed with this bank.

It’s the way that “Thank you for your patience” feels when I read it. What if I’m impatient? They don’t want to hear it.

And all that guff about “working hard” and “making sure” and “best experience possible”.

These people are switching off overnight to install an upgrade. Which is no big deal. But they can’t even do that without virtue-signalling how totally switched on they are.

“Thanks for your continued support,” they sign off. Hah!

Dear bank, I don’t care. I haven’t used your online banking service for a year, because I can’t get through on the helpline to activate my “new” token. Oh, and you’ve had the same recorded message about “unprecedented demand” since the first lockdown started.

But rest assured — I am committed to making appropriate use of your service. Thank you for your patience while I continue to bank elsewhere.

William Essex once wrote a book titled E-Commerce in Retail Banking. It was published by Informa in 1999 and they told him — er, me — that it was a bestseller. Which I guess means most of the banks bought a copy. So I’m sorry. It’s all down to me.

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