Way too many years ago, a friend sat me down for a quick sketch. It survived, as things randomly do, and I could probably find those specs again if I looked hard enough. My picture of Paolo’s picture.

Could somebody invent this for me, please?

People with short sight, their eyes look smaller in their spectacles. People with long sight, their eyes look bigger in their spectacles. [Long sight is where you need reading glasses; short sight is where you can see the elephant in the room but not the herd of elephants on the horizon.]

I go to the optician and try on some spectacle frames. Without lenses in them, they look fine. When they come back with my prescription lenses in them, my eyes seem to be a different size. Like they don’t fit my face. Not a big deal, but just a bit — disappointing. Takes the edge off getting new specs.

I can get lenses that go dark — different colours of dark — in bright sunlight. I can get lenses that protect my eyes from the glare of my computer screen. I can get lenses for driving at night and I can even get lenses that won’t reflect my lights if I go on Zoom.

There are bifocals and varifocals, and I can get lenses fitted into goggles and masks for diving, skiing, skydiving, playing sports, looking at elephants, being a superhero. [Not sure about that last one.]

What I can’t get is lenses that make my eyes stay the right size. Lenses that make my eyes look like they fit with the rest of my face.

Could somebody … ?